Do Girls Date who they want, and Marry who is Available?

Some weeks back, one of my friends (a guy) posted on his Facebook page the caption: “Women date who they want but marry who is available” I saw the post and thought he was making a one sided claim. Many of his friends, including our mutual friends started giving their opinions, and so the post garnered a lot of attention- numerous comments I must say.Related post 7 Reasons Why the Women Men Date Aren’t the Ones They Marry

One comment that caught my attention was: “They are so ambitious and would never marry a man who is broke. They want an already made man.”

The minute I saw that comment, I felt a sudden chill. The comment tried to portray women as opportunists; People who get into marriage not out of love or the burning desire to spend their lives with one who makes them happy, but as persons who marry for marriage sake.

Related Article: 7 Reasons Why the Women Men Date Aren’t the Ones They Marry

So, I reminisced about my past relationship, the one immediately before I married. Well, before I met my husband, I dated a guy I really liked. I wanted a long time thing with him. I was in my 300 level in the university, and he was already a graduate awaiting service. I wanted us to get married and swim together in the ocean of love. I even suggested a simple court wedding. But this guy was somehow broke and refused to enter such commitment. He said, “Your family will not respect me if I marry you that way.” That was his opinion. He was more concerned about what my family would say, and the kind of wedding he wanted. He wanted a big one.

Although, not all courtships lead to marriage, we should understand that it is not all about money (like the commenter presented). Sometimes, the girl is left with no option than to move on. Not all girls are after a man’s money. Many get involved with the boys because of something called, “true love”.

However, money is an essential factor in a relationship. This made me remember Davido’s hit song, “Assurance” with lyrics- ‘love is sweet o, when money enter love is sweeter.’ This is unarguably a fact. Money spices up a relationship. It makes the bond stronger and covers up flaws.

So, here are my questions for you: What do you think about the claim? Do you think women marry whoever is available?

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17 Responses

    1. Mr Arthur, you have a point. If a girl’s priority is to marry, there is every possibility that she won’t wait for the guy she is currently dating to be financially stable. However, most times these girls face pressure from family members.
      Even at that, many today still prefer to wait for their men to be successful.😀

  1. In all sincerity, most ladies marry those whom they perceive is financially stable… Gone are those glorious days where we marry for true love.
    Unarguably, the loveconomic parlance of the unending 21st century has served as a frontier for such life coded decisions.
    True to the words of an old man, get married to whom you truly love. Love can be learnt. Follow your head not your heart..

  2. To be quite realistic, 90% of ladies date who they love and marry who is available. It’s popular culture.

    A colleague once told me “I would rather cry in my Porsche than marry a poor guy” so one thing is clear, the available guy must be “comfortable” if not rich.

    Those who choose to wait for the guy they love(if he is yet to be settled) most times end up disappointed. So why wait?

    Sometimes it is because of societal standard and the pressure from relatives and peers that push ladies to settle down for the available or we may say “desirable”.

    Therefore, whichever one a lady finds suitable should be chosen. It’s still a game of choice.

  3. When a woman is ready for marriage, she marries who is available and financially stable. That not withstanding, she might be waiting for the financially prepared man for a good number of years, and also at the same time scavenging for the readily available man.

  4. A friend of mine once made a similar comment, he said ladies date who they love but marry who is ready, and in most cases this is true. But I believe that if you marry cause of stability, it’s only a matter of time before the marriage falls apart because this is someone you don’t love and it’s going to be very hard to ignore this person’s flaws

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